


Miracle on 89th St

by commasplice27



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Completely ignores canon for reasons, F/F, Holiday Movie ripoff-homage, holiday fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-10 18:22:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8928151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commasplice27/pseuds/commasplice27
Summary: Sgt. Olivia Benson has her son, her job, her home and friends, but her job is killing her Christmas spirit not to mention the holiday demands dwindling her available child-care. Thankfully, a friend turned neighbor is there to fill in the gaps.





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn’t even December yet but Olivia Benson already hated Christmas.

Most cops have a different relationship with the calendar, one where more attention would be paid to the cyclical shifts in crime than a hallmarked passing of the seasons.

She’d also never particularly cared for the entire holiday season having had a complicated personal history with the traditionally family oriented time of year.

Between last second scheduling changes and complaints, her general mood wasn’t doing any better than her seasonal cheer. In fact, the last two years were filled with change after major change in her life falling like dominoes, leaving little room and time for appreciation.

Cragen retired. Stabler left the force. She’d been promoted, and immediately had to fire (not to mention nearly arrest) Chester for the ‘paperwork error’ that cost a perp his life by being purposefully outed as a child-killer in the jail exercise yard.

They’d gone through a bevy of inexperienced ADAs due to Casey’s suspension.

She’d become a mom.

Bit by bit, things were settling down, but she really could use a vacation far away from any kind of Christmas carol. Only there was no time for a vacation, not even a short break.

This morning she was called back into work before the sun came up. She was cranky, hungry, under-caffeinated and at the moment particularly irritated by the twinkle-light-illuminated evergreen-garland, with periodically placed mistletoe, that had suddenly spawned itself throughout every public space in her building including the elevators.

She removed the scarf loosely looped around her neck and took a deep breath, rotating her head to work out the tension that had started to settle there and plastered a smile on her face for her son as she entered her home.

“Hi,” Olivia said.

“Good afternoon, Sergeant Benson,” Lucy said, generously putting a load of dishes into the dishwasher.

“Olivia,” Olivia corrected.

“Olivia,” Lucy said, her voice hesitant, never quite comfortable calling her boss by her first name.

“Where’s Noah?”

For an answer to the question, she smiled and pointed out the kitchen window.

One of Olivia’s favorite things about her apartment was the wonderful sunny view of the courtyard and it’s narrow garden space, even more now that her son could enjoy it too.

The arrangement of the building around the courtyard also provided a view of the apartments other side. The ones that faced the street.

And particularly, when her curtains were open, a view straight into Casey Novak’s new studio apartment. She looked through to see Casey holding Noah up on her hip, pointing at the passing parade balloons passing by the windows lining the street.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on them,” Lucy said. “Miss Novak thought Noah might like seeing some of the parade balloons since she has such a nice view. I know she babysits him for you sometimes, and I can see them from here and it was just so crowded in front of the building. I hope that was okay.”

“I actually managed to forget about the parade until I was on my way home,” Olivia said. “And yes, it’s okay, but text me a heads-up next time.”

Lucy nodded.

Olivia looked at her phone again though, and realized that Casey herself had done so much earlier.

-I have something of yours. We’re watching the parade. Come by my place when you get home.-C

Olivia sighed. “And it looks like Casey beat you to it and I missed it.” She sent a quick text back.

“Well, thank you so much for staying, Lucy. You can head home, have a great Thanksgiving with your family.”

“Thanks,” the young nanny beamed. “Happy Thanksgiving to you too.”

-

Casey answered the door with a warm smile, her easy going nature of late evident in her bare feet, jeans and a curve-hugging green cashmere sweater. Her long wavy red hair was loose around her shoulders, except for the one large bunch of it that was tightly held in Noah’s little fist.

Olivia smiled and unclenched Noah’s hand and released the red hair from it.  
  
Noah wiggled lightly until he was free and quickly went back toward his window view.

“We were waiting for Garfield. Or Snoopy. Without one or the other of those guys it’s just not a real Thanksgiving day parade.”

“Well of course not,” Olivia said. “Though I admit that I haven’t seen this insane thing in years. I am more than familiar with the traffic nightmare, and the trouble getting into the building.”

“Nothing redeeming at all for you?” Casey smiled. “Not even Santa at the end?”

“Oh,” Olivia groaned quietly. “Do not bring up Santa.”

“Okay,” Casey said, voice lilting up in question. “I will not bring up the red suited elf-boss again.”

“I wasn’t even supposed to go in today.”

“You’re off now?”

Olivia nodded with a relieved sigh.

“What are your plans for the big turkey day?”

“Kathy Stabler has been campaigning for me to bring Noah over there. I’m still not 100% sure about it, I think Noah will be adorning their kitchen walls with mashed potatoes - but it would mean that I don’t have to feel guilty about not grocery shopping on the way home.” Olivia said.

“Your old partner’s wife’s invite is about on par to a dear auntie calling you to come back home. I’m pretty sure you have to go.” Casey smiled.

“What are your Thanksgiving plans? Headed home?”

“My mother has descended on my sister’s house this year, taking over the cooking duties because of the new baby, the third under the age of five. So I’m off the hook for going home.” She grinned. “I am going out a little later tonight though, some friends of mine are going to try and host for their first time for dinner - it should be fun if a bit inedible.” she said. “I have a just a bit more work here to finish up first.”

Olivia looked at the fold-out table/desk and frowned. There were legal pads with notes, several stacks of paper, folders next to a laptop. She checked that Noah was still behaving and looking out the window and moved closer to the work that Casey had mentioned.

“Casey,” Olivia continued frowning. “This looks… legal.”

“It is,” she said.

“You’re practicing law?”

“After a fashion,” she said.

“You’re license is suspended.” She motioned to the neat piles of papers. “Is that wise, to risk it permanently like that?”

Casey lips pressed together into a firm line then rolled her eyes. “Relax,” she said. “That is merely a mountain of research that I will summarize into a very concise two page brief. It’s for a friend who is also a lawyer. And while she does trust my opinions and analysis, she will make the final decisions regarding any action or policy work that she will then recommend and it will be on her license.”

Olivia sighed. “I’m sorry, Casey, I didn’t mean it like that I just-“

“It’s okay,” Casey said. “I get it. But if it makes you feel any better, I do have my license back.”

“What?” Olivia snapped.

“It is fully legal for me to practice law again.”

“Since when?”

“Just about a month ago.”

“Then why the hell aren’t you back at work? Do you know how hard it is to break in new ADAs?”

“Oh, I remember,” she said, she said with a sardonic smile.

“Then what’s going on?”

“I appealed the suspension, and won.”

“Really?”

Casey snorted. “Let me tell you about the Bar Associations’ record on appeals sometime,” she smirked and then fake whispered, “50% appealed sanctions are overturned.”

“Then when are you coming back?”

“In a little less than eighteen months,” Casey said.

“What?” she said a little too loud. She stopped herself saying more, looking over toward her son and sighed. “Why?” She continued in a more reasoned voice.

“Look, getting my license back is one thing, but if I want to have any credence in court I am going to have to let the judiciary know that I took this all seriously and that I regret what I did and won’t do it again. I’m in career rehab here.”

“I guess I understand that,” she said, “but it still sucks.” She rubbed at her head.

“Headache?”

Olivia grimaced in affirmation. “Isn’t Thanksgiving supposed to be the easy holiday? People should be happy to get time off and be well fed? No presents, no pressure.” She rubbed at her head.

She looked at her watch and tsked. “A headache already? It’s not even the afternoon, you’re not even peeling potatoes or forgetting to baste the turkey.” She moved to the kitchen area, opening a cabinet that contained some pain killer and handed the bottle to Olivia and prepared her a fresh cup of coffee. “You haven’t even had to endure a table-wide family argument yet.”

“Thank you,” Olivia said looking more than appreciative for the drink that was placed in front of her. She took a long sip with the pain killer before continuing. “Is that why you’re not at your sister’s house today? Avoiding the bickering?”

Casey flashed her a grin.

Olivia smirked and shook her head. “Anyway, yes, I blame the holiday, or whole entire season, really. The crowds, the obscene shopping, the repetitive music- ”

“You know,” Casey said. “I know it’s never been a great time for work, but, uh,” she bit her lips together and cringed. “Do you really want to tank the whole season?”

“Come again?”

Casey took a slow breath weighing her words. “Look,” she said. “The holidays are tricky for a lot of people, included me and my family, but you have someone else in the picture now who will soon enough might just enjoy and come to expect a twinkle light infested, presents under the tree, music filled holiday complete with pictures with a certain… toy distributer.”

“Ugh,” Olivia said, running a hand through her hair. “Part of me knows that.”

“But?”

“But this morning, on the first day that there is a major santa presence in the city, we brought in 5 santa-pervs. After that round up, there’s no way I’m putting my son on Santa’s lap.”

Casey cringed. “I can definitely understand that.”

“Look,” Olivia said. “He’s young enough to not know or remember much about this Christmas. And of course I’m going to spoil him, but I was hoping for it to be low key.” She sighed. “I think the city can handle the Bensons being mellow and a bit off schedule.”

“Off schedule?”

“The nanny has finals, and she’s about to vibrate apart with the stress of it,” She said. “I can not afford to lose her, so I was thinking about giving her some time off, whether or not it is a good time for me. She’s close to pulling out her hair out.”

“Yeah,” Casey said, wincing. “I noticed that.”

“And the other babysitter I use is going upstate to visit her family now and again in December and my main backup babysitter is going on vacation.”

“That sucks.”

“I really thought I had my bases covered with those three. The daycare will take him. For overtime. And there will be overtime, I’ve never known a CO that didn’t have to come in at least once or help scramble to find cover for someone during the holidays - something always happens,” she sighed. “I’ve had a couple of odd offers to babysit from the Stabler twins, I haven’t ever taken them up on it since they’re all the way up in Queens-”

Casey mirrored her frown then tilted her head. “You know,” Casey said. “I’m sure the daycare will be fine and all, but I can watch him.”

“What?”

“What do you mean, what? I’m here in the building. I’m working from home, mostly. And I’ve babysat for you before.”

“Yeah, for a few hours, but this would be considerably more and for like, a month. I can’t ask you to do that Casey, you’re - you’re my colleague.”

“Nope,” Casey said. “Technically, I’m just your friend-slash-neighbor now.” She smiled. “And I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t willing.”

“You’re saying you want to moonlight as a babysitter?”

“Mmm,” Casey said. “That’s the beauty of freelance work,” she held her hands out, surveying an imaginary office. “I write my own conditions, clauses and dress code,” she wiggled her toes, showing off her pedicure. “Moonlighting is allowed and even encouraged.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Casey said. “Come on, I’ve babysat loads in the last few years - all my little nieces and nephews love me. I want to help and I owe you. I wouldn’t even have this place without your help.”

“You had really good credit and references,” Olivia smirked. “And a nice-sized apartment that you sublet for a huge rent.”

“Yes, my money was fine, but my current work history reads: recently suspended. And I wouldn’t have been able to sublet my apartment if I didn’t find somewhere else to live.”

Olivia shrugged. “The board is also happy with how beautifully you’ve fixed up this place.”

Casey smiled. “The hard work and elbow grease I’m good at. The first impressions or selling myself to the building’s board…” Casey waggled her hand in the gesture-equivalent to ‘not so much.’ “Anyway - I really don’t mind filling in with some babysitting. Even a lot of babysitting.”

“I don’t want to impose on you,” Olivia ran her hand through her hair again. “But it would really help me out.”

“I’m happy to do it. Just let me know the schedule.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia had always been uncharacteristically open with Casey. Throughout the friendship that developed out of their working relationship, she’d always found herself telling Casey things she’d never even told her closest lovers or oldest friends, all the while ignoring any warning bells from her subconscious. 

When she put in a good word for Casey with her building’s board, a warning went off in a corner of her mind insisting that she might regret opening up yet another line of familiarity with the redhead. She ignored it yet again. And in the ensuing weeks, as she witnessed Casey relax right before her eyes, she couldn’t help being happy about it. She could see the stress leave the set of her shoulders, and even see her begin to smile again. 

This new proximity brought a whole other form of awareness of the woman. Before, Casey was intrinsically tied to the job. So, while she had considered her a friend, and even confidante, there was an invisible line not to be crossed. 

Now though, the woman Olivia kept running into wasn’t her ADA anymore. She was just Casey. And the pull that she always put off on a side effect of friendship was now free of any professional restraints. 

Without even realizing it, she had whole new inventory of information about the woman. 

Casey was a runner. Every morning she ran up to the building checking her watch, frowning or beaming at her times, all teeth and dimples, flushed cheeks and tight running gear. Her quick, self-depreciating wit now came with a pulse quickening lack of personal space. The slight swagger, that she didn’t even seem to be aware of, would show up when she was confident or happy. She was chivalrous in an everyday manner; she always shouldered her bike up the stairs rather than bring it into the elevator, she held open doors and offer to carry bags, and she would carry up Olivia’s laundry or mail for her since Olivia’s hands were often full with a toddler. She kneeled to get at eye level with Noah, whether she was in a suit or jeans, and had the same look of accomplishment when she got a high five from him as when she was satisfied with her running times. ‘Just Casey’ had an easy and affectionate nature. Raising up the boy above her head and spinning him until he laughed. Ruffling his hair. Bumping her shoulder, her hip, against Olivia’s. 

And now here was Casey, the very much charming and attractive friend-slash-neighbor, who was watching her child to help her out during the holiday season for no other reason than to be nice.


	3. Chapter 3

The new routine slipped into their lives so smoothly that Olivia hadn’t even realized when a good portion of December passed them by. 

Casey moved freely between Olivia’s place and her own, depending on Noah’s needs. He took the change in caretakers so well that Olivia was suspicious that Casey might be bribing him somehow, but overall it was much nicer than she thought it was going to be. They’d catch up everyday; recounts of the toddler’s activities were beginning to evolve into longer and genuine conversation that let Olivia decompress from work in a way she didn’t even know she needed.

The redhead had developed a very particular smile that Olivia had been receiving lately. She thought it might have been an amused tolerance to all of Olivia’s admittedly overprotective-parent tendencies. She hadn’t ever thought of herself succumbing to the same issues that many first time mothers go through, but she very much had. 

Somehow though, she’s not sure how she didn't notice. Between the check-in calls, texts, and the pictures that Casey emailed from her phone, Olivia hadn’t anticipated the Christmas cheer that crept into their lives. There was the occasional classic Christmas carol playing softly in the background when she'd pick up Noah at Casey’s. One Saturday morning the woman had the black and white version of It's a Wonderful Life on tv. She'd even tried to make Noah cookies, but he was too anxious to eat them and they didn't last long enough to be frosted. 

But still, the large Christmas tree in Casey’s apartment took her by surprise when she came to pick up her son after babysitting. 

She looked at it and sighed. At least it was tucked away in the corner and it looked like Casey had put anything delicate near the top of the tree, but her son was completely mesmerized by the blinking pattern of the tree lights. 

-

“Hi.”

“Hi,” she said. “We were going to head back over to your place, but he wanted to see the tree again, and then he fell asleep on the couch for nap time.” She smiled. “He just woke up.”

Olivia smiled. “How was your day?”

“We went to story time, and then we made ornaments.” She showed her. “These are for you.” 

There were little handprints that were turned into reindeer, crayon scribblings cut into shapes and a little star with his name and the date on the back. 

“You are just filled with the Christmas spirit, aren’t you? Who knew you were this crafty.”

“My sisters are a little nuts about this stuff. I did these with my nieces and nephews last year.” She shrugged. “Just enjoying the season.”

Olivia raised her eyebrows in amusement.

“Okay, I might be trying a little too hard.”

Olivia laughed a little in her amusement. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t go 100%.” 

Casey smiled in reflex. “Last year was so messed up. I screwed up everything with work and realized that I had been neglecting the rest my life as well.” She shrugged. “I was a little depressed for a while. And it… lingered.” 

“So, what changed?”

“I had been calling the people with the news, telling the tale of my suspension and my failings again and again in a morbid sort of self-flagellation. My sister slapped some sense into me. Tried to get me moving forward and stop working against myself.”

“Sounds like good advice.”

“Control issues may or may not be a common thread in my family,” she smirked. “Basically she told me to get a grip, any grip. Get myself busy. So, I started up with some the things that I used to like to do, made lists and schedules, got a job, and tried to get some focus. It’s something that worked in the past.”

“Hence the obsessive running in the mornings?”

Casey smiled. “Runners high is a real thing,” she said. “And it’s not obsessive, it’s disciplined.”

“Tomayto tomahto…”

Casey lightly smacked her on the arm. 

“Well, you seem to have gotten your groove back pretty well. I know you like your new place. You seem to like your new job.”

“Jobs, plural,” she winked. “But I don’t know if it’s control of my life that I was missing as much as just a sense of myself. So, here I am, trying to not let everything just slide by.”

“So- the decking of your halls?”

“Oh come on, it’s just a Christmas tree.” 

“A large and beautiful tree.”

“When’s the last time you had one?”

“Maybe once or twice since I lived with my mother.”

“It’s not going to infect you with it’s tinsel.” She smiled in earnest. “I am just trying to enjoy the little things that I had been missing out on. And I wouldn’t want you or him to miss the little things either.”

“Like homemade ornaments.”

Casey shrugged one shoulder, but her cheeks flushed slightly. “I swear I’m not trying to shove the Christmas spirit down your throat. I know not everybody loves Christmas, but everybody does have these little hand made ornaments. I didn’t want you to miss them someday.”

Olivia tried to remain annoyed, but Casey’s dimples and the earnestness on her face broke her resolve. “This holiday has never been my favorite, so I guess I need the nudge. But don’t think I’ll be chopping down my own tree anytime soon.” She smiled down at the small ornaments, all created by her son. “These are pretty cute though. I guess I will be collecting things like this.”

“That’s a good bet,” Casey said, with that particular small smile again.


	4. Chapter 4

-

“This is the second smile I’ve seen on your face this week,” Munch said. He smirked as he placed his latest file into Olivia’s in-box. 

She rolled her eyes at him. “I still need your partner’s report too.” 

“I’m pretty sure she’s done with it. I’ll ask her where it is if she ever returns with the eggnog coffee she conned us into.”

“Yeah,” she grimaced. “You can have mine. I’m not sure those two things should ever mix. Or that eggnog should even be a thing.”

“Tell that to Rollins,” he said. “So, if it’s not the festive drinks and other trimmings that she’s tried to introduce to the precinct that have you smiling, pray tell, what is?”

“Can’t I just be having a good morning for once?”

“At this time of year, frankly, no.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re a regular grinch this time of year. It’s an annual tradition.”

“I would have thought you’d be one of the last people complaining about anyone whose not buying into all of this forced holiday drivel.”

“The holiday drivel doesn’t bother me at all. Not even when I was a little thing in Hebrew school. I like the lights,” he said. “I also like all the peppermint chocolates.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I’m just having a good morning.”

Her phone’s text alert interrupted the interrogation as a picture of Noah popped up on her screen. He was smiling and reaching toward a toy train circling a mini-Cony Island. 

“Well, isn’t that sweet and festive,” Munch said, watching Olivia smile at her phone. 

“The, uh, fill-in babysitter, is just taking him out for a little air.”

“Benson, I’ve lived here even longer than you. Someone has taken your little tyke to the NY Botanical Garden Holiday Train Show.”

“Do you have a point?”

“One Benson is out enjoy traditional holiday activities. The other Benson is smiling to herself in her office. Santa must have come early this year.”

“Munch, I hate to tell you this, but their is no Santa. Santa is just another excuse for overindulgence.”

“So, you’re planning a Santa-less existence for the entirety of little Benson’s childhood?”

“Not if Cas-” she cleared her throat. “Not for lack of trying. You know, everyone seems very concerned about my son and my lack of Christmas spirit.”

“Who is everyone?”

“It’s nothing. I just don’t see why I should raise my son to believe in Santa.”

“No one said you have to, Liv,” he said. “But you know, I’ll take any reminder, any symbol, any excuse people need to treat each other better. To have a little hope in the world. Even if it’s just for a few weeks.”

“I really didn’t expect this from you too.”

“From whom else did you not expect it?”

She tried to stare him down.

“Who took Noah to the model train show?”

“A - friend, who is helping me out with Noah for a little bit, just until my nanny and babysitters are back from their holiday breaks.”

“You’ve known me how long? Do you really expect to let this go?”

“It’s Casey. Casey’s watching him for me.”

“Casey, our erstwhile ADA?”

“Yes, though currently she’s just my neighbor.”

“Casey Novak is filling in for your nanny.”

“Yes.”

“Did you have to pay her a retainer?” The mirth behind his eyes was unmistakable. 

“She’s freelance right now. Think of it as moonlighting.”

“This is even better than eggnog coffee,” he said, twinkly in his eye. 

“Munch, everything is better than eggnog coffee.”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Even your annual misanthropy can’t tarnish this,” he beamed. 

“She’s just doing me a favor,” Olivia said. She sighed and straightened. “Now, get out of my office.”

“I am filled with joy,” he said on his way out. 

“Glad I could make your day, Munch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this was mostly beta'd but I have a bad habit of adding little touches or moving text around until I stop myself - so let me know if I mucked it up


	5. Chapter 5

—

After a particularly long day Olivia entered her home to laughter and wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. After hanging up her coat she turned to see her son’s face covered in red sauce. 

“Spaghetti? No wonder you’re his favorite sitter,” she sighed dramatically. “I knew he had you wrapped around his finger.”

“He asked.”

“He doesn’t know that many words.” Olivia smirked.

“He knows spaghetti or something close to it. How am I going to say no to that? Besides, it’s pasta pomodoro. And there’s enough left for you too.”

Olivia’s smirk changed to a look of undisguised appreciation as she went straight for a plate and the pan on the stove. 

“And he doesn’t have me wrapped around his finger, I’m just a bit indulgent.”

Olivia looked at her blankly and waited. 

“Okay, I’m a lot indulgent.”

She held her stare longer and raised an eyebrow. 

“Fine, then, I guess you don’t want me to send you the picture,” Casey said, and then shook her head as Olivia actually had the nerve to pout. “I already emailed it to you,” she said, her voice resigned.

Olivia checked her phone and smiled. She tilted her head and observed Casey through suspicious eyes. “Did you make him spaghetti just to watch him make a mess?”

Casey rolled her eyes. “No,” she said. “He did say something that sounded like spaghetti. It’s even on the food list you have taped to the fridge. And hey, it’s not a Christmas photo.”

Olivia shook her head. “I guess it’s not,” she said, smiling at her phone again as she took another bite. “This is amazingly good though,” she said. “I had no idea you could cook like this.”

“Oh, yeah,” Casey said. “How else was I supposed to take care of a husband and family if I didn’t know how to cook?” She rolled her eyes. “My mother let me follow my interests in general since I did so well academically, but there were some things she wouldn’t let up on. I did what I had to do to keep the peace.”

“So, you don’t like to cook then?”

“I didn’t at first. In fact, I resented it until I was living on my own. Then I saw the genius behind it,” she smirked. “Now it’s nice, if I have the time.”

“What’s your favorite thing to cook?”

“Brunch or breakfast. Crepes, french toast, omelettes… that sort of thing.”

Olivia smiled genuinely. “Wow, I'll have to get you to cook breakfast for me sometime.”

“Anytime,” Casey said.

Olivia ignored how the tips of Casey’s ears tinged red. She smiled and said, “Well if it makes you feel any better about being wrapped around his finger, I think he’s a little in love with you too.”

“Good to know it's mutual,” Casey beamed.


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is a minor miracle that I am continuing this, because I am stewing in mortification, because I accidentally texted this short part - NOT TO MY BETA. To my Aunt-in-law, people. My aunt. OMFG. I’m nauseous. This is worse than and your/you’re typo. I have a terrible problem with iMessage and not triple checking the recipient. I am currently in public - people may have noticed the groaning and muttering obscenities and holing my head in my hands -hat pulled over my face.
> 
> -also, don't worry I have all but 2 chapters complete

-

Olivia did realize, little by little, that Casey had been wearing her down about all things holiday. Food. Music. Decorations. Outings. Most of it was mild and revolved around entertaining her son, so she was able to ignore most of it. And to Casey’s credit, Olivia thought, the santa photo that she had been dreading came much later than she thought it would. 

-  
“You didn’t,” Olivia said, shaking her head from the doorway. 

“I couldn’t resist.” Casey said, holding her hands out in front of her to plead for mercy. “You didn’t want him to sit on Santa’s lap, and I do understand why - but I knew you might someday regret not having this kind of first picture. So,” she made a flourished movement with her hand. “I found another way.”

Olivia shook her head and looked at her son, now decked head to toe in a mini-Santa outfit. “You are lucky he’s so cute.”

“Cute? He’s unbelievably adorable in this.” She smiled. “And now, Santa gets to sit on your lap,” she said, waving her phone. 

“One picture,” Olivia said, holding up a finger.

“One of both of you in front of the tree,” Casey said. “I’ll let you delete it if you don’t like it.”

“Fine,” she said, begrudging smile on her lips. 

 

They sent it through Olivia’s printer. She looked at it lovingly and thought about putting it on her desk. Though that would leave her open for Munch commentary. 

“Why is everyone so concerned about this?” She said, not looking up from the photo. “He’s just a baby.”

“Who's everyone?”

“You, Munch, Rollins maybe. Everyone who has handed him a tiny candy cane when we're just trying to get the grocery shopping done…”

“Maybe it’s not really him that everyone is concerned about.”

“Growing up, the holidays and every other day of the year - It was just me and my mother,” she said. “We had our problems, yes, but I never believed we needed anyone else to provide for us. She was very clear that she was the one to buy my gifts. To provide everything I needed.”

“No one is saying that you can’t provide everything for him either. No one thinks you can’t do it all yourself. You are an amazing mother. But you don’t have to shoulder everything.”

Olivia looked away. 

“I caught my dad with the Santa presents when I was 6 or 7,” Casey said. “And still, the joy in it - that doesn’t have to go away.”

“Does that mean that you told Santa what you want for Christmas?” Olivia deflected.

Casey smirked at her. “I'm not the one in the picture,” she deflected. “What about you? What do you want for Christmas?”

“All I want for is for Santa here to always be happy and secure with the family that he has.”

“He will be,” Casey said. “How could he not, Liv?”

Olivia smiled shaking the notion away. “So, if Santa sits in your lap will you tell me your Christmas wish?”

“Oh, I don’t want anything, except maybe a copy of this.”

“Surely there’s something?” Olivia said as she placed Noah on Casey’s lap and tried to get him to smile for her. “Is there really nothing you want?

She gave a wan smile. “It’s just that I’m finally good again. There’s no need to push my luck.”

“So you get me to take a santa picture and now you are a true believer once again? Or is this still part of ‘fake it til you make it’?”

“I’m getting there,” Casey said. “It’s hard not to be in front of such a perfect little santa. If anyone can remind people that they can suspend their doubts about humanity, it’s this little guy,” she said and played tug of war with the Santa hat with Noah until he giggled. 

She stared at Casey for a moment, trying to make sense of the woman, wondered about her not wanting to push her luck. But it was the end of the day, and her own thoughts were too scattered to make sense of. She snapped the photo of Noah and Casey together, printed it and tucked it away with the ornaments.


	7. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the love of coffee the net gods spared me. The text to my Aunt did not go through!!!!

-

Olivia began to suspect that coming home to a good friend day after day, one ensconced into her personal space, might be causing heightened affection - physical and otherwise. 

They would transfer Noah into or out from each other's arms. Casey gently, wordlessly, places mugs of hot coffee in her hands. They’d bump into each other chasing her son around. Not to mention that Noah was prone to pulling them both into hugs, or would grab one of each of their hands so he could swing freely between them. Sometimes Casey would brush the snow off her shoulders in a gesture so natural it had to be unconscious.

She thought that perhaps, the affection was to be expected. 

-

She got called in earlier than usual. Dozens of thoughts ran through her head as she knocked softly on Casey's door, hoping that the woman would be up.

Casey answered the door with a sleepy smile, her hair in a loose, messy pony tail. She was wearing a thin-strapped clingy camisole with satin edging, her pajama pants hung low on her hips revealing a sliver of pale abdomen.

And she knew, right then, that she would have been caught staring somewhere not quite appropriate, if she didn’t have to do double take to make sure she saw right. 

“Are you wearing sushi pajama pants?”

The sleepy smile grew until she showed her teeth, her dimples coming out. “If you knew how soft they are, you wouldn’t tease me about them.”

Olivia smirked and tilted her head in fake consideration. “That’s debatable.” 

Casey smirked in response. “Get called in?” she yawned. 

“I’m sorry to do this,” she said. “I thought maybe you’d be up for your run.”

“Late night,” she said. 

“Did you have a good time?”

“Ha,” she said. “I was up late with some work.”

“I'm sorry, I can call Munch over, he’a offered-”

“No, it's no problem. I’ll be good as new with some coffee, I’ll bring you some for you too.”

“Thank you,” she said. 

“Not a problem,” Casey replied. And gave her one final sleepy smile that was quickly becoming Olivia’s favorite. 

Casey showed up at Olivia’s ten minutes later, brushing past her with two mugs.

-

And then it got harder to ignore. 

She'd come home weary. She was able to catch the tail end of dinner with Noah, though she could only sit quietly and smile at the antics of the other two at the kitchen counter.  
Casey hung around after she’d put Noah to sleep and cornered her when she came out of his room.

“Do me a favor,” Casey said, green eyes exploring her. 

“Anything.”

“Pop my back.”

Olivia’s eyes went wide. “Anything but that.”

“Please? My shoulder is starting in again and I need to get it to relax before it messes up my whole back.”

“I’m no chiropractor,” Olivia said. 

“I can’t get an appointment this late, they’re all busy or have no weekend hours. This has worked before. It’s easy. Just pull me backwards.”

“You’re taller than me,” Olivia said. “I’m not sure that will work logistically.”

“I’m barely taller than you, maybe two inches if I stand up really straight,” Casey said. “And you have a heel on those boots and I’m barefoot, so that evens it out.”

It took a couple of minutes of pleading for Olivia to give in. 

Casey crossed her arms over her chest as Olivia came up to her from behind. She wrapped her arms around Casey’s, and the redhead leaned back against her, her head fell back and rested on Olivia’s shoulder. Olivia took a deep breath, closed her eyes, leaned back and pulled. At the feel of their bodies pressed so tightly together, the clean smell of soap and shampoo coming off the woman, the feel of her bare arms and the sound of her breathing - Olivia’s mind went blank with one fleeting thought of ‘Oh no.’ 

Casey, with her broad shoulders and long limbs, was lighter than she thought she’d be. She pulled and leaned back as much as she could. Finally, blessedly, they both heard a good pop, at which Casey groaned in pleasure. 

Oh, No, the thought repeated stronger this time.

Righted, Casey turned and grinned widely. “Thanks.”

They straightened and Olivia tried to press a smile through the tight grimace. 

Casey’s brow furrowed. “Can’t stand the cracking sound?” she guessed. 

“Something like that,” Olivia said. 

“Well I’ll make it up to you then.”

“Sure,” Olivia said. Then she laughed, trying to cover for moment. She said the first thing that came to mine. “You can make my dish for the holiday pot-luck Rollins somehow conned everyone into.”

“Sure,” Casey said. 

“I was kidding,” Olivia said.

“Really though,” Casey said. “You’re their C.O. You can’t just bring a boring sub from the shop on the corner.”

“Oh please,” Olivia said, shaking her head. “We’re cops. We’ll eat anything.”

“I can do it if I can use your oven while I watch Noah. I am currently using my oven for shoe storage.”

Olivia laughed. “If you are serious, I will crack your back once a week for a month.”

“I will take that deal,” Casey smiled and squeezed her shoulder as she walked passed. 

As a rule, Olivia always maintained personal space. That seemed to have gone out the window entirely now along with her ban on Christmas , and she didn’t know what to make of it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This thing has errored trying to post 3 times. Anyway, the rest is written and briefly beta'd (poor thing isn't a C/O shipper really), and I'll get it up soon, I am just weary because it seems bare bones to me- but I also don't want to just drop it waiting for inspiration or mess it up by forcing it...

-

It had been a good day. Actually, it might have even been a good week. She’d miraculously finished a great deal of paperwork. Survived briefings with the white shields. She was able to finish two cups of coffee. Her detective’s cases were doing smoothly. She was able to leave work on time and felt the smile form on her face as she did.

She entered her apartment to find two of her favorite people asleep on the couch, Noah using Casey as a pillow and felt her smile grow even bigger.

After she peeled off her son and got him into his bed she came back out to see that Casey had tidied and was sitting on the couch, waiting with a large present complete with a bow on top.

“Merry early-Christmas,” Casey said, handing it over. “I’ve heard you Benson’s aren’t so formal about the official dates.”

“What’s this?”

“A box.”

“Casey,“ she said in a warning tone. 

“It’s not what you think. It’s for both of you, or Noah mainly- just open it.”

Olivia opened up the box and pulled out a quilt in shades of blue, white and gray, made for a boy’s bed. She pulled it out fully, enjoying it’s perfect soft weight.

“When my mom heard about how you helped me out this year, she just wanted you to have something grandmotherly to give to him.”

“This is beautiful,” Olivia said. “She made this? This must have taken so much work.”

“Yes and no. She’s an addict. She took a class to learn how when my sister got pregnant with her first one and she hasn’t stopped since. She can’t help herself,” Casey said, smiling. 

“I should send her something for this,” she said, marveling at it’s homey feeling and beauty. 

“Oh, don’t bother,” Casey smiled ruefully. “I’m already paying for it.”

“What do you mean? If your mom is charging you, I’ll pay you back. I absolutely love it. What did it cost?”

“Three set-ups and I have to come home for my father’s Super Bowl party.”

Olivia barked out a laugh. “That is crafty on a whole other level.”

“You have no idea,” Casey laughed. “But if you want to, you can go on the rest of the dates for me.”

“Uh, that’s okay,” Olivia said, hands up in protest. 

“That’s what I thought,” Casey said. “I hope you don’t mind, I sent a couple of the shirts he’d grown too big for to her and she used them for some of the borders.”

“I can’t believe you did this,” Olivia said. 

“You’re welcome, I’m just glad you like it.”

“You really love him, don’t you.”

“Everybody loves him, Liv.” Casey smiled. “He is going to have a life full of people who love him and his family.”


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teeny tiny parts. Sorry. Next fic will be longer. I've just... this one has sort of shrank on me?

“Casey Novak!” Munch said, getting up from his desk to greet her. He gave her a half-hug and kissed her on the cheek. 

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

“It’s good to see you too, Munch,” she said.

“What brings you here? Are you back? How much did you miss me?”

“No, I am not back yet. And while I’ve missed some things, I’m just dropping off Noah for the party.”

“That’s right,” he said. “I heard you were - Olivia called it moonlighting.”

“Something like that,” Casey smiled. 

“Babysitting with benefits?” he said and grinned lasciviously.

Casey shook her head. “And then there are the things that I don’t miss.” 

“Inquiring minds want to imagine.”

“If you really want to know what kind of benefits, check the break room. I brought Liv’s contribution to the potluck.”

“What is it?” He said, already heading toward the buffet. 

“Chicken with 40 cloves of garlic.”

“Seriously? Will you babysit for me next?”

“Don’t get excited, I was repaying a favor.”

“Some favor. Will you be joining us?”

“No, I headed out.”

“I thought you looked too good for our humble company, even though you and the little man almost match. Nice tie choice.”

“Well, it is a party. I had to dress up my favorite gentleman.”

“Sure,” Munch smiled indulgently. “That must be it,” he said. “So I hear you’ve been taking the little man out and about lately. Have you hit the Polar Express yet?"

“Just yesterday. How did you know?”

Munch choked on his drink and tried not to laugh. “I know everything.”

She eyed him through narrow slits. 

“How did little Benson like it?”

“He got to climb around a real train and look out the windows. What kid wouldn’t?” 

“Indeed.”  
-


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, 
> 
> Thanks for reading. So happy that more than one person read this. ;)   
> Might be typos here (can't find my glasses). Still fiddling with a possible little epilogue.

Olivia marveled daily how much her son learned, how much he knew, how much he was aware of. This morning he kept pointing out the window. Straight across courtyard. He missed his favorite sitter, and knew where her apartment was. Knew how to tell her what he wanted without being able to tell her. 

“Baby, she’s not home. My guys all arranged for me the day off with you.”

Her guys knew something was up. Munch noticed it right away. She didn’t turn into a grinch again. She just, suddenly, got quiet. All business. And apparently she’d stopped smiling. Or at least that’s what Munch said before she threatened to put him back out on patrol. 

Casey tried to pretend to be normal, but things were awkward. She still came over. They both tried to act so normal, but both of their attentions were overly dedicated to Noah, and during the times when he was distracted or asleep, Olivia could see Casey’s attention diverting, her serious eyes straying for the view out the window, the kitchen, anywhere really, where Olivia wasn’t. 

Noah tugged on her hand again. “She went to see her family for Christmas. She’ll be back to see you tomorrow.”

But as she said that the lights in question popped on. And as she looked again, she saw the familiar silhouette moving behind the curtain. 

It took Noah fifteen more minutes of making his wishes known, or more accurately, her arguing with herself, of talking herself up before she gave in and headed over. 

-

“Merry Christmas,” Olivia said in the doorway. Child on hip and soft smile to mollify what might be yet another unsatisfying interaction.

“Merry Christmas,” Casey said. “What are you doing here?”

“Munch got it covered for me.”

Noah accepted a hug for three seconds before he wiggled past both of them to get near the tree again. “No, I know that-”

“Well, we were in a bit of a break from him playing with wrapping paper and playing with the box the train you told me to buy him came in. He really likes the box,” she said bewildered. “I was thinking about making cinnamon rolls.” She paused noticing the look on Casey’s face. “The ones from the can, even I can do that-” she laughed. Then her laugh quickly died. “He missed you.”

Casey gave her a shaky smile. “I missed him too.”

“And I wanted to, I don’t know, wish you Merry Christmas. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us.”

“It was my pleasure,” she said. 

The sound of ornaments falling to the ground brought her attention to the tree. Olivia smiled patiently and looked back to Casey. “I thought you were headed home.”

Casey nodded her head to the large bay window facing the endlessly falling snow. “It’s snowing so much they cancelled my train.”

Goddamn Munch knew the trains were going to be cancelled. He had to. That’s why he insisted he take over today. She sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, its fine. Who doesn’t like a white Christmas?”

“Maybe everyone waiting for the train?”

“Maybe.” She laughed softly. ”The nanny survive finals?”

“Yeah, she said she’d be back for NewYears.” Her thoughts tapered off and she finally couldn’t put what she’d been meaning to say off any longer. “About that night. I’m really sorry.” 

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Casey smiled graciously. “No damage done.” 

“It’s not that-“

“Hey,” Casey said. “It’s really okay. I’m a big girl. I can take an ‘I’m not interested.’ Our friendship is long established enough to take a little bit of wine and mistletoe.” She tried to wave it off. “I was over the next morning, hardly awkward.”

“It’s just that- I mean… you’re a girl scout.”

“I may or may not have been, but you are never seeing the pictures,” she said, trying to laugh her off the subject.

“I never really thought -,” Olivia looked intrigued for a moment but clamped down on it. “You’re not a rule breaker.”

She scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes. “Until I started working at SVU.” 

“You know what I mean.” 

Olivia took a breath and looked back up at her. “I know there were moments where our friendship had blurry edges. I may have let myself indulge in thinking about it once or twice but-” She pressed her lips together, took another breath and continued. “You- you never made a move, never asked me for anything. I didn’t know it was something you wanted to pursue. And then faced with it, I was just…”

“Scared?”

Olivia nodded slightly. “Something like that.”

“I just assumed,” Casey whispered. She took a deep breath and shook her head. “I was so sure it was one sided. I mean, I have fallen for you a few times over the years.” 

Olivia’s mouth fell open with a slight gasp. “Where do you think you are now in that process?”

“Olivia,” Casey’s voice got soft and she looked away. 

“I meant it when I said I had a great time. The whole night was,” she pursed her lips to pause and think through the rest of what she wanted to say. “That date, was wonderful.” Olivia swallowed, “And that was a really, really good kiss.”

Casey’s face flushed and she looked at her feet, biting her lip to keep from smiling.

“Casey,” she said to get the woman to look up at her again. “It isn’t one sided.” She stepped closer, now maybe only a foot apart from the woman and waited until Casey looked up at her. 

“Are you in love with me now?” Olivia said. “Because I’m in love with you. - I’ve messed up so many relationships that I don’t even bother trying anymore. But I’d really like a chance. - I value our friendship too. So, if I’m wrong - then you really should stop me now.”

Her hands, infinitely gentle, brushed reverently along Casey’s cheeks. The press of lips that followed wasn’t nearly enough though, and Olivia’s hands wove into her long hair to pull for a much deeper kiss, one that felt like they had been meant for this. Like it was supposed to happen all along. 

Casey’s arms circled her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. 

Minutes, moments, later, Casey took a shaky breath. “You sure about this?”

Olivia smiled. “My nanny is coming back in a couple of days. So, tell me,” she smiled. “What are you doing New Year's Eve?”


	12. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last one was just too short to count. So...

Olivia stared up at the ceiling, half expecting Noah to wake back up again. He was determined to stay awake this evening. As she melted into the couch, her thoughts churning about, she turned took look at Casey who was fishing through her bag.

“Hey,” Casey said. “I got these as a bonus on that last consultation.” Casey said, handing Olivia a pair of tickets. “I thought you might like to have them. You did said you were interested in seeing this, right?”

Olivia stared at the tickets in her hand. “Yes, but,” she started. “Casey, these are impossible to get.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t you want to use them? I mean, your mom and those dates everything-”

“I’ve gone on two so far and there is no way. I can’t face any more. I really don’t know what my mother was thinking.”

“She does seem to be putting you through the ringer. I feel a little guilty about it to tell you the truth.”

“Oh, please, she would have found a way in any event. She’s been really persistent about it lately, I have no idea why. And it is definitely not something I want to do in my free time ever again.”

“Well, Munch has drawn particular pleasure in your suffering too. He checks in with me about them as if he’s channeling your mom.”

“Good to know someone’s getting something out of them.”

“Casey, are you sure you don’t want these tickets?”

“Olivia, take the tickets,” Casey said, a note of finality in her tone.

Olivia smiled in acquiescence. “I haven’t been out to see a show in forever. Thank you. That’s really nice.” Olivia stared at the tickets. Finally, she smiled with a slight glint in her eye. “So, what are you doing on Friday?”

“Hmm, It's just a wild guess, but I'm thinking I might be babysitting so you can go out for once.”

“No, you’re not,” she said. “Because, I just came into these great tickets to this show and I think you should go with me.”

Casey smiled in return. “I know who could babysit for you. And she definitely owes me.”

-

“Is your mom really going to be okay with him? You did kind of bring this up on her last second.”

“Oh please, she’ll be fine. She’s already rearranged my furniture. She needs something to do before she goes through my closet.”

“I thought she just came up for the day to finish her shopping.”

“What can I say, she’s efficient. And she wasn't planning on leaving until the last train out.”

 

“You two should leave now so you can get something to eat first,” her mom’s nearly shrill voice came through the doorway. “But you have to change first, missy, you’ll get horrible service in that.” 

“Oh my god mom, stop.” 

“Put on something nice like the sergeant and I will.” 

“Fine, I’ll change, but, no more talking!”

 

-

She knew she’d spent too much time around her mother when the streets of NY felt refreshing and quiet. She adjusted her coat around the dress her mother all but made her wear. 

“We do have plenty of time to get dinner if you’re hungry.” Olivia said. “What do you want to eat?”

She smiled back at Olivia. “I know someone at a French bistro nearby, I can probably get us in.” 

“You lawyers and your connections.”

“It’s impossible to get in anywhere good without a reservation this time of year. Might as well make this worth our while.”

-

Dinner and a show. Olivia was still smiling and riding the high of evening she’d had. As they exited the playhouse, they were greeted with lightly falling snow. The more the evening went on, the more it developed an ethereal feel. She couldn’t stop smiling.

“I can’t believe you were thinking of not coming.”

“I know. That was so much fun.”

“You need to get out more.”

“Hello, Pot, this is Kettle.”

“I didn’t say you that it was only you who needed a night out,” Olivia said. “But I have an excuse.”

“Yes, but even before Noah, you were-“

“What? A hermit?”

“I’d say that you were careful with what little free time you let yourself enjoy,” Casey said with prudent calculation.

“Now, Kettle-“

“I know. I like to work. But I have already admitted that I’d been neglecting myself, not to mention not taking advantage of the city.”

“And you admit this was even way before your recent career change.”

Laugh. “Yes, it was happening even before then.”

“Good, because I wouldn’t have wanted to be the cause of the death of your social life or be the nail on the coffin.”

She laughed even harder. “Well, it wasn’t. You know very well the crap shoot that has been my last two years. But there was something good in going through all that. I had to reevaluate what was important, appreciate the people in my life, the ones that matter. You and your son are part of those people, you know.”

“I do.” She smiled softly, a little more touched than she wanted to admit. She cleared her throat. “And I think that’s the least jaded thing I’ve heard you say in a while.”

She smiled and they continued their walk, shoulders occasionally brushing against each other.

-

Casey had been aware of background hum throughout the evening, the dawning realization that this wasn't just catching a show with a friend. They'd sat a bit close at the restaurant, shared a bottle of wine, brushed fingers over the arm rest at the show, smiled too often during intermission. 

They definitely arrived too quickly in front of their building. And stood, awkwardly paused in front of the doors, neither of them knowing what to say, neither really wanting the evening to end. They both must have looked up at the less than innocent sprig over the threshold of the entrance at the same time. They both stared at it, the meaning of it dawning too slowly. 

And then, finally, Olivia looked straight at Casey.

Inevitable wasn't quite the right word. But the layers of protection Olivia had built over the years - all of them simply fell away.

She moved forward and brushed the snow off of Casey’s shoulders and out of the loose strands of her hair and leaned in and kissed her. 

Casey got over her shock fast, or at least remembered to breathe. She parted her lips beneath Olivia's and then pulled back and looked at her. Tilted her head to meet Olivia’s eyes. But the look was soft, and the hand still at her shoulder curled gently around the back of her neck. 

Casey returned the kiss slowly and deeply. Deep enough to stay lost in their night, in the feel of each other for long, timeless moments.

Olivia eventually pulled back, not a little shocked by how much she didn’t want it to end. But without her carefully built layers and walls up to protect her, all she had left was panic.

And then the panic set in. She knew she was going to shut down, and she didn’t know how to stop herself.

“Casey,” she started but had too much trouble finding a way to continue. “I… I can’t.”

And the look on her face, the mixture of resignation and understanding, like Casey expected this, because Casey really does know her, knows who she is - made Olivia’s heart clench. 

“Well, then, goodnight,” Casey said, voice quiet. And walked her back to her apartment in silence.

**Author's Note:**

> This is 98% done. And beta'd except for the parts I'm tryin to finish... which is problematic as I am apparently prone to embarrassing typos (your/you're - I'm so mortified I'll need to do something to make up for that...)


End file.
